Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

[Adrianne Brown]

Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage
by Scott Diffenderfer
Reprinted by permission of [1]Messianic Home Magazine
Over the last several months we have been approached concerning our
"position" on the subject of divorce and remarriage. The following is
the result of much study, prayer, counsel, and discussion. Some have
told me not to attempt to deal with this issue, as it is too personal,
yet we at Messianic Home have never been concerned with building
subscription numbers but rather have attempted to offer up solid
Biblical positions on "home" related topics. With that in mind we simply
cannot back off this potentially divisive topic.

As a point of reference for the reader, I have been married to the same
woman for almost 19 years. I, unfortunately was not a pure bridegroom. I
have no ax to grind on this issue and only seek the truth. I have heard
or read most of the arguments on all sides of this issue attempting to
understand the position of each one. In the end the only opinion that
counts is the one of YHVH. I humbly submit to you the best presentation
on this topic that I can put forth at this point in my journey with
Messiah.

When we study any topic in Scripture we need to consider a few concepts
very carefully. First of all, we must use the whole counsel of the Word
from Genesis through Revelation. Secondly, we must consider the audience
of the writer and/or speaker. Third, please realize that the Son cannot
contradict the Father. Last but not least, we need to acknowledge that
there are some points in Scripture that are a mystery and we are to be
faithful to study thereby unlocking the mystery as we grow into the
image of Messiah.

We see the first marriage in Scripture early on as YHVH realized that
Adam needed a helpmeet. At this time, obviously the newly created world
was in the perfection state. The fruit was still on the tree. This is a
very important distinction to make when looking at the first union of a
man and a woman. In YHVH's perfect order, the union of a man and woman
is one of becoming "one flesh". Through the physical act of becoming
"one flesh" YHVH has given us a beautiful picture of His design for our
union with our heavenly bridegroom.

There are some clear distinctions between this garden union and our
worldly unions of today. Besides the perfection of the garden, we see
that Eve was created from the very rib of her husband. While at this
point in my marriage I consider my wife to be part of my own flesh, I
have had to grow into this belief. Adam did not even ask for this
helpmeet - YHVH saw that he needed help and companionship. Most men
today search and search for the perfect bride. Despite our failings some
of us even are fortunate enough to find her. Adam just had to take a
little nap. In the perfect garden setting things were a little different
than they are today. Until Messiah returns to clean up this mess in
which we live we will continue to stumble our way towards His perfect
will.

Moving forward in Torah, we see many marriages, some good and others
with problems. The wisdom of the patriarchs was not always perfect
concerning their personal lives. In Deuteronomy 24:1-4 we encounter the
topic of divorcement. This is the only time that divorce is mentioned in
Torah. When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to
pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some
uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and
give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is
departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. And if
the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and
giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the
latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband,
which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that
she is defiled; for that is abomination before YHVH: and thou shalt not
cause the land to sin, which the YHVH thy Elohim giveth thee for an
inheritance. Moshe in this section of Torah is laying out the various
decrees of the Father to Israel. Considering the context again we see
that Moshe is talking to a separated people who are about to enter into
a special piece of geography which we today call Israel. In verse 4 we
see how YHVH feels about the return of a wife to her former husband.
Again, we must realize that the Son did not contradict His Father.
Messiah explains to us in Matthew 19:8 why divorce was permitted,
because of the hardness of your hearts. The rebellious Israelites
demonstrated their hardness of heart many times throughout their
wanderings in the wilderness. Some would say that the Israelites of
today are still wandering in the wilderness and still possess a hardness
of heart. Only through the redemptive work of Messiah dwelling within us
is our heart softened.

This hard heart syndrome which leads to rebellion was prevalent
throughout the wilderness wanderings. Ultimately, it led to YHVH using a
bill of divorcement on His chosen people. And I saw, when for all the
causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away,
and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared
not, but went and played the harlot also (Jer. 3:8). The Father
establishes His ways for specific purposes. In the case of divorce, it
seems that YHVH has it in place to deal with the issue of hard
heartedness. However, in Jeremiah 3 we see a possible argument for a
wife's return to her husband after divorce. This is just not so! Notice
that the wife, hast played the harlot, (Jer. 3:1) not entered onto a
marriage covenant with another. Furthermore, YHVH has never married
another - Israel (native born and sojourners) is and always will be the
only people who have a covenantal relationship with YHVH. Is it His
perfect will for couples to be divorced? Is it His will for His people
to have hard hearts? Absolutely not! There are different eras throughout
Scripture and YHVH establishes specific instruction for specific eras.
For instance, today we cannot keep the sacrificial instructions because
the Temple is not yet reestablished. That however does not nullify the
sacrificial system but only suspends it until YHVH causes His house on
earth to be rebuilt (Ezekiel 42). In the Adamic era we had perfection on
earth and during the Messianic era we will once again. So, what do we do
in the meantime? Is divorce one of those instructions that is for a
specific era? Again, let us consider the work of Messiah in our lives.

We know that if Messiah truly dwells within us then He causes our heart
to be renewed. Through His sacrifice we are redeemed. The curse of
Adam's disobedience is cleansed from us and we can enter into a personal
relationship with YHVH through our faith in Messiah Yeshua. For as by
one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of
one shall many be made righteous (Romans 5:19). While the world around
us still operates under the hard heart syndrome, we have been given soft
hearts that are willing to obey and find joy in following His commands.
So when our hard heart is removed so is our need for divorce. We learn
how to love our spouse through His instruction as we grow in the
knowledge of His ways. As we are transformed into the image of Messiah
we learn how to sacrifice our personal desires for the desires of our
mate and family. Our selfish, lustful flesh is no longer our driving
force as our desire to serve is increased. Of course we are still,
"works in process," but we are being transformed into a beautiful form.
No longer bound by our sinful desires, we are free to follow His
commandments and experience the blessings therein. Behold, I set before
you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if ye obey the
commandments of YHVH your Elohim, which I command you this day...
(Dt.11:26 & 27). The need for divorce is nullified because we have been
redeemed and are to be separate and peculiar people from the world. Our
lives are to cause the world to be jealous as they witness the
difference in our actions and responses to the actions of those around
us. Once redeemed, divorce is no longer an option. Divorce is not
applicable to redeemed Israelites. The very cause of adultery (a hard
heart) has been eliminated. HalleluYAH!

But as we look around us we find "Believers" getting divorced. We see
pastors, teachers, and elders getting divorced or turning their head to
those who are. The world's imperfections have seeped into the body of
Believers. As our leaders have turned a hard heart to Torah, they have
turned away from accountability and responsibility. Marriage is looked
upon as a contract rather than a covenant. Faithfulness is replaced by
feelings, commitment is overshadowed by our perverted concept of "love".
How are we to respond? What should our stance be when dealing with those
who have been divorced? Real life issues need real life solutions.
Fortunately, we have the example and teachings of Messiah to follow when
dealing with these issues.

In the gospels we have several instances of Messiah dealing with
"sinners". If we define sin as anything that YHVH hates then divorce
certainly falls into that category. Divorce is the result of sin. Some
would teach that those who are remarried are in a constant state of
adultery due to Messiah's teaching in Matthew 5:32. Adultery is sin.
But, if we are going to use Yeshua's teaching we have to use His
definition, ...whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath
committed adultery with her already in his heart (Mt. 5:28). More
importantly, we must attempt to deal with these issues as Yeshua would
have. Some treat divorced and remarried people as lepers, especially if
the action took place after they were "saved". Which sin is too big for
Messiah's bloodshed to cover? Are there any sins that are unforgiven if
one truly repents? Do we not nullify the very essence of Messiah if we
choose to have a hard heart toward repentant sinners? While the
Israelites were given the ability to divorce due to their hard hearts,
we see today similar hard hearts taking harsh stances on this issue.
Many are throwing "spiritual stones" at those who have erred concerning
the past choices they made for partners. Messiah came to teach His lost
sheep a better way of life. A life of forgiveness, redemption from our
mistakes, and access to the Holy of Holies through His blood. When
looking at this topic we cannot forget this important tenant.

Some congregations will not allow divorced and remarried couples to join
their assembly. If we choose to hold fast to one commandment and hold
people accountable to lifestyle choices then we should be willing to
hold equally fast to all the commandments. What about those who
continually break the 1st commandment through violating or being
ignorant of Torah? Many "Believers" still celebrate the pagan holidays
of christmas, halloween, and easter thereby violating the second
commandment. Often, we consider those who curse the Father's name as
breaking the third commandment, but what about those who do not even use
the name of YHVH or Yeshua? What about all of the sabbath breakers; are
they doomed...? The list goes on and on as we consider our shortcomings
in light of His instructions (Torah). We simply cannot treat the
Scriptures as a buffet, taking what tastes good and leaving the rest.
This is not an excuse to throw the whole thing out and run rampant in
sin. Rather, it is a warning to those who would hold to one command more
strictly than the others.

Let us take a closer look at the concept of adultery through the light
of the whole counsel of His Word. Messiah Yeshua gave an expanded
definition of adultery when asked in Matthew 5:28. It is important to
note here that He was using a specific teaching method, using hyperbole
to drive home the point that divorce is wrong. Messiah used this type of
teaching many times, especially when attempting to define the difference
between the two major schools of rabbinic teaching at the time (Hillel
and Shammai). We must consider the context and audience when looking at
Messiah's words or we will misinterpret the intended message. There are
many examples of adultery throughout Scripture. One could argue that
anyone who strays from the pure Truth of YHVH's Word commits adultery
against the Father. Then, of course, we have Yeshua's expanded
definition of which most "Believers" would be guilty of at some point.
Fortunately, in both these cases we can repent and return to a right
relationship with YHVH. We have an example of His forgiveness in King
David. Here is a man who had many wives yet will still be prince of
Jerusalem under Messiah's reign. Here was, "a man after YHVH's own
heart", yet he obviously violated the concept of "one flesh"
continually.

Let us take an abbreviated look at some of the teachings on this
divorce/remarriage issue that are floating around today. First there
seems to be a belief that divorce is a necessary tool in today's
adulterous world. It goes that it is impractical to expect couples to
actually stay together. As long as you attempt to seek "religious"
counsel and then things do not work out, at least you have tried. Of
course when many pastors, elders, and other leaders have been divorced,
it is hard for them to take too hard a stance against divorce and
remarriage. Or when many in their congregation are divorced it creates a
financial burden if they take too hard a stance on this issue. They tend
to treat divorce as if someone just broke a contract. Contracts
themselves are established in the belief that one of the parties will
eventually break the agreement. They are there to protect the one who
upholds the agreement through outlining certain punitive damages for
those who break the deal. However, we know that marriage is not a
contract but rather a blood covenant.

Which brings us to another teaching. This teaching hinges on the concept
that it is not the state who has the authority to unite a couple. Only
YHVH has that ability. According to this teaching a person is "married"
to whomever they first were intimate with. In Bible times, when a
marriage was consummated the bridegroom presents the stained bed garment
to witnesses indicating that his bride was pure and that the couple was
united as "one flesh". This blood covenant is unbreakable as long as
both parties are alive. If this is a correct interpretation of YHVH's
will for a marriage then many reading this article are married to the
wrong person. Very few of us today have married our first bed chamber
partner. In the perfect world, this teaching would be applicable and
certainly is a goal towards which we should train our children. I was
not trained up this way, quite the contrary, I was encouraged to pursue
young women in a very unscriptural manner. We see here the attempt to
apply a "perfect world" teaching to an imperfect environment.

Then we have the teaching that espouses the belief that you are married
to the first person you married until one spouse dies. Divorce is not
allowed except for cases of fornication. If marital unfaithfulness is
found, you may separate but still you may not re-marry until the other
spouse dies. What about Ezra's instruction to Israel, Now therefore let
us make a covenant with our Elohim [God] to put away all the wives, and
such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of
those that tremble at the commandment of our Elohim [God]; and let it be
done according to the law (Ezra 10:3). There are times when it seems it
is Scripturally correct to divorce. Notice that this verse states that
it be done "according to the law (Torah)". Let us train up our children
not to be lured by "foreign wives" but rather to remain faithful to
those their parents choose for them to marry. Once again, this would not
be applicable if we lived in "the garden". This teaching could certainly
lead someone to wish for the death of their former spouse thereby
committing "murder of the heart". Were the Israelites of Ezra's time
still married to their former wives? Or were there marriages nullified
in the eyes of YHVH due to the mistakes of their training? Were they
held guiltless due to being led astray by their parents?

Some would take the above teaching a step farther and promote the
concept that if you are divorced and remarried, you should divorce your
current spouse and return to the first. Again, we see that this is a
violation of Torah. In Deuteronomy 24:4 YHVH calls such an act an
"abomination". If YHVH truly hates divorce, how can one wrong make right
another wrong? Remarriage to a former spouse, after marrying another, is
obviously not approved of by YHVH.

To truly understand this subject we must consider what is a Biblical
marriage. If we only deal with the divorce issue, then we are picking
out one point in a continuum in the marriage issue. YHVH likes marriage.
While some are to remain single, He gave us the marriage covenant as a
blessing through which we could effectively serve Him. An effective
marriage begins early in life as children are trained up to be good
husbands and wives. This starts (hopefully) at a young age, as girls and
boys are taught how to fulfill their rightful roles by their parents.
Concepts such as discipline, faithfulness, stewardship, hard work, and
patience should be a part of every home training environment. Later in
life these well trained young men and women are betrothed to their
intended spouse. This betrothal period is a time of great anticipation
and preparation, usually lasting about one year. The bridegroom is to
prepare a place for his bride under the auspices of his father. The
marriage is then performed by the elders with the consummation taking
place thereafter. This is only the beginning as now the real training
begins. For the first few years of marriage it is critical that the
couple receive good counsel from the elders and their parents concerning
home based issues. As the years progress and children are brought up in
the home, the couple will then enter into the fullness of the blessing
of marriage truly understanding what a Scriptural marriage is all about.

We should not just focus on the issue of divorce without considering the
entire marriage continuum. When a marriage fails there is typically a
problem with the training of the individual involved. A lack of patience
or faithfulness are common causes of divorce. Let us deal correctly with
those involved in the training, counseling and teaching of the divorced
couple as well. To do less would allow the errors to multiply into the
future.

Most of the confusion concerning this issue comes from those who just
look at the New Testament's teachings on this subject. Let us look at a
few verses remembering that the renewed testament does not contradict
the first (Old) Testament. In Matthew 5:31-32 (KJV) we read: It hath
been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of
fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry
her that is divorced committeth adultery. Now this obviously makes
things pretty clear; until we remember that scripture cannot violate
scripture. If Moshe allowed for divorce then we must be missing a piece
of the puzzle here. Just perhaps, it is due to the translation. We see
this in many instances throughout Scripture, where one or two verses
seemingly contradict the rest on a particular topic (look at the dietary
laws for instance). Using George M. Lamsa's translation of the Aramaic
Peshita (an ancient eastern text) this passage reads like this: It has
been said that whoever divorces his wife, must give her the divorce
papers. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except for
fornication, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman
who is separated but not divorced, commits adultery. We see here the
distinction between being separated but not divorced. In Biblical times
(and in some congregations today) the elders would meet to consider the
grounds for divorcement. If they felt that there were Scriptural grounds
(i.e. fornication, adultery, or abandonment) then a "get" (bill of
divorcement) would be written. This paper would state the findings of
the Elders and would serve as legal paper for the act of divorce.
Obviously, in the Peshita, we see the distinction between a separation
and a legal divorce. Could Yeshua be stating that a man who marries a
woman without the bill of divorcement causes her to commit adultery?

Furthermore, according to George Howard's study in The Hebrew Gospel of
Matthew, the translation of Matthew 5:31 from the original Hebrew would
read, ...And I say to you that everyone who leaves his wife is to give
her a bill of divorce. But concerning adultery, he is the one who
commits adultery and he who takes her commits adultery. Again, we see
that the issue here is the act of legally divorcing rather than just
"putting out" a wife. Howard writes, "Here Y'shua supports the
requirement that a man must give his wife a divorce certificate (sefer
keritut or get), otherwise if he sends her out still legally married,
then he makes both her and her new husband commit adultery. Therefore,
if the man truly wants a divorce he must pay the ketubah settlement (a
kind of lump sum maintenance) and do a proper separation."

Later in Matthew 19:3-9 we see Yeshua addressing this topic again.
Notice the audiences, first we have His response to a cunning group of
Pharisees and later to His disciples. These Pharisees were obviously
attempting to trip up our Messiah through asking Him, "Is it lawful for
a man to put away his wife for every cause?" Again, we must be careful
to consider the whole Scripture for in his passage we see Messiah
delineating between the school of Hillel and Shammai concerning the
meaning of the Torah phrase of Dt. 24:1, "indecency of thing" (i.e.
uncleanness). Yeshua here sided with the stricter Shammai stating that
divorce could not be for any "thing" but only for the "thing" of
immorality.

Messiah further blasted back at the Pharisees saying it was due to their
hardness of hearts that Moshe gave the bill of divorcement. Compare this
last passage with Mark 10:2-12. We can see a big difference in Mark
10:10-11 vs. Matthew 19:9. Notice who He is addressing in Mark - His
disciples. Could it be that again our interpretation is a bit off? Let
us consider that Messiah was taking a hard stance against divorce for
His disciples. This would be appropriate in light of the Scriptural
qualifications for eldership. Obviously these men were to be held to a
higher standing for their personal conduct. Messiah was making it clear
to that specific audience (as Torah does for the Levites) that divorce
and remarriage would be a grievous error.

But what about Romans 7:1-3? Once again we need to consider the context
and read carefully. First of all the topic here that Paul is addressing
is not divorce, but rather obedience to Torah. Furthermore, we see in
verse 2 that the woman is bound by the law to her husband so long as he
liveth. But if a legal "get" was given the man in question would no
longer be her husband! Obviously the husband's death would end the
marriage as we see in the next verse upon which she is free to remarry.
In any case, the context in this passage is one of Torah obedience not
divorce and remarriage.

In 1 Corinthians 7, we see this subject being addressed by Paul (Shaul).
We again must consider the context. Paul here is, of course, lining up
his words with YHVH's Torah and Yeshua's explanation thereof in the
Gospels. The major issue he is addressing is the forgiveness of your
spouse. In, Messiah - Understanding His Life and Teachings in Hebraic
Context (Vol. 1), Avi Ben Mordechai writes, "To say, 'God has called us
to peace' means God has called us to repair broken relationships, a
concept that comes from the word shalom, whose Hebrew root is shalem
meaning to make payment in full; to fully reconcile an account. ...If
the marriage is irreconcilable due to marital infidelity, and the
unfaithful spouse wants to leave, you must let him or her leave and you
will incur no guilt, as long as you were willing to forgive."

So where does this leave us? How do we reconcile the issue of divorce
and remarriage in today's society? We can see that through the counsel
of the whole Word we may have a different conclusion than if we just
consider the Tanakh (O.T.) or the Brit Hadasha ( N.T.). Obviously, we
also must be careful to consider the context, translation, and audience
when interpreting Scripture. After all these considerations, we can form
a more accurate conclusion on any Scriptural matter. Let me be crystal
clear in stating that YHVH hates divorce. He no doubt hates it for
several reasons perhaps paramount of which is the fact that He desires
His people to be blessed. Divorce carries curses along with it,
especially if children are involved. There are always questions to be
answered, faithfulness to be questioned, and a stigma attached that just
will not go away. YHVH seeks the best for His people and divorce hinders
His will. We must train up our children properly thereby causing them to
have the heart of YHVH and hate divorce also. Furthermore, we must offer
wise counsel to marriages that are in trouble, divorce is simply not the
will of the Father for any marriage. However, there are specific
acceptable reasons for divorce. This is not a long list! Let me be
specific in stating that they are dealing with the immorality within the
marriage that Yeshua spoke of, fornication, adultery, and (in the case
of the unbeliever) abandonment. In no way do I offer up these reasons as
an "out" for anyone who is married. Please remember that YHVH HATES
divorce! Anyone who takes part in any act that YHVH hates will have to
answer to the Almighty one day. Let us not forsake the eternal reward
due to some temporal difficulties. Just because the Father gives us
reasons for divorce does not mean that we should get divorced. Remember,
you will have to answer for your actions. YHVH is still in the miracle
business. So, if you are in one of these situations keep praying, not
looking for the easy way out, but rather praying for YHVH's miracle that
may be closer than you think. Different congregations may define these
reasons for divorce differently but I will stick my neck out and offer
up a suggested definition of each considering their original definition
in the Greek and Hebrew language and Yeshua's words. I will also put
these definitions in light of the imperfect world we live in today:

* Fornication - adultery and any act of a sexual nature that is
committed out of the marriage relationship, homosexuality and the
use of pornography.
* Adultery - the physical or mental act of physical intimacy with
anyone other than one's spouse.
* Abandonment - the act of leaving, not providing for, or physically
abusing one's spouse.

If one is in such a state there are specific steps they should take.
First of all pray; because YHVH is indeed capable of working miracles.
Secondly, look at your action (or lack of action) that could have caused
this situation to occur, repent, and fix it. Third, seek counsel from
the wise. Fourth, if all else fails and you must go through with a
divorce, bring the request in front of a group of true Elders and submit
to their authority. Request that they hear your plea and grant you a
written get with the Scriptural cause of divorce clearly stated. If that
is accomplished then today you must receive a bill of divorce from the
state as well. Finally you must repent. Repent! True repentance will
bring about a change, a new heart, and put you back under the covering
of YHVH.

It is interesting to note that Scripture only gives the ability to
obtain a get to the husband. This is perhaps due to the patriarchal
society of the time. Women were dependent on their husband for provision
and protection. This, in part, is the reason that women did not abandon
their husbands. Therefore, if a man divorced his wife it would be
speculated that she had played the harlot. What a disgrace that would
be. However, Jewish law gave the wife the ability to approach the elders
of the synagogue in an attempt to force the husband to divorce her for
specific causes such as her husband having leprosy, he was engaged in a
dirty trade, physical abuse, or his becoming a heretic.

Let us also remember that the punishment for adultery in Torah was
stoning. Of course this seems barbaric to most today, however, if all
proven adulterers were stoned to death things would be much neater. The
issue of remarriage of the adulterer would be eliminated and most would
think twice before committing such a violation. With each stone, the
guilty party would have the opportunity to repent and thereby enter the
Kingdom of YHVH. But who would cast the first stone? Spiritual "stones"
are being cast today by many who do not understand the whole counsel of
YHVH's Word and by others who are filled with pride and unforgiveness.

Remarriage may indeed take place if a Scripturally legal divorce has
been accomplished. This is Scriptural, not the Father's best, but
allowable under the whole counsel of His Word. If you seek to be
divorced to pursue another pre-identified spouse then you certainly have
committed adultery under Yeshua's definition and teachings. Therefore,
any remarriage should not take place for a number of years. Remember
that the divorced individual has some baggage that needs to be cleaned
up before any remarriage should be considered. Perhaps there is a
problem with faithfulness, obedience, patience, or other such issues.
These must be cleaned up if the next marriage is to be successful.
Typically, these are not quick fix areas of opportunity but rather life
long issues. Give them time to be eradicated through good counsel and
prayer. During this period the woman should be provided for by her
father or the congregation. Let us not forsake our responsibility to
those in need. Waiting on YHVH before rushing into a remarriage leaves
room for repentance on the part of the adulterous spouse. YHVH divorced
Israel and sent her away but still awaits for her repentant return to
His covenant. We too should be careful not to close the door too soon.
Some individuals are better off to remain single, For there are some
eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some
eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which
have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake (Mt.
19:12). We should not force the issue, but truly be led by the Ruach
HaKodesh which will never violate Scripture. Those who do choose to
remarry need to do so with the utmost caution. The multiple divorce
rates are enormous and YHVH hates divorce! Be careful not to repeat the
mistakes of the past.

In closing, let me note that none of us can undo the mistakes of the
past. We have all fallen short of His mark. We all are in need of His
abundant mercy. For those of you who have been divorced in the past
please realize that we cannot unscramble eggs but we can make a
beautiful souffl* out of them! True repentance for our grievous ways
will bring about a change in the Believer. We should be able to
physically recognize a repentant individual. There should be a change of
attitude that will improve their countenance as well as change their
deeds.

In addressing this topic we need to realize that there are many factors
involved in any unsuccessful marriage. Therefore, it is impossible to
make a blanket proclamation on specific marriages without taking into
account the different aspects of each. That is why it is so important to
receive Scriptural counsel if you are in a troubled marriage. This
counsel must be of YHVH and therefore cannot be void of Torah. The
counselors must consider the entire Scripture in it's original language,
and not just a few passages.

Unfortunately, there are some Believers who judge others who have been
divorced and remarried and refuse to fellowship with those who they feel
are in a continual state of adultery. This teaching is based on an
incomplete interpretation of the New Testament alone and ignores the
instructions of Moshe because the teachers of this concept believe the
Law of YHVH is done away with. When we point the finger at someone else
there are three others pointing back at us. Let YHVH be the judge and
jury. While we certainly should be careful with who we choose to
fellowship, let us not be so unforgiving that we would have the "hard
heart" of the Pharisees. If we choose to draw a hard line on this issue,
we must draw an equally hard line on all sin or else we are hypocrites.
This does not in any way make allowances for divorce and remarriage. It
is not YHVH's will and certainly not His best. However, we too must
realize that we live in an imperfect world. Holding our brothers and
sisters up to a standard of perfection will heap coals upon our heads.
Instead, let us cling to the hope that Messiah is still completing the
work He began within us. We are being transformed into His very image.
It is an image of obedience, faithfulness, love, service, and
humility...let it be so. Shalom.

*This text was idiomatically edited from the article in Messianic Home
(Winter 1999) by permission, otherwise no changes have been made. For
more information on how to get Messianic Home magazine, write Messianic
Home PO Box 3381 Lebanon, TN 37088. E-mail: [2] [e-mail] .